Gnomes
by X-Feli-Chan-X
Summary: Edward leave Roy for a week, for an automail check up, what he sees when he arrives home was not what he'd been expecting.  Rated M, cuz well... 3


**So i'm back with a story that i wrote like...*counts*...at least five months ago.**

**The story behind this one was that Meep-chan was playing Sims, and they had a gnome making station...her Roy sim was obessesed with making gnomes, it's what he would do in his spare time. And even when Meep told him to stop, or all of his needs were at 0 he would refuse to stop.**

**so the Sim yard was covered with gnomes due to Roy, and this sparked an idea for a fic...and here it is!**

**So this was typed up for me (because i'm such a slow typer) and edited by Meep-chan!**

**i hope you will enjoy the madness that ensues ^^**

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**It was last Monday when the madness began…**

I sighed as I sat down at the table, a mug of steaming hot coffee in hand. Roy was already there with his face lying beside his cup, moping. I blinked, staring for a moment.

"Roy? What's the matter?" Roy groaned lowly, slowly turning his face to me.

Each of us were solely in boxers but his hair was also a mess and unbrushed; his eyes had bluish-purple bags under them and looked rather gloomy. Roy's voice was rough as though he hadn't used it in awhile when he said,  
"I'm useless." I had brought the mug to my mouth and had been gently blowing on it before mistakenly taking a sip right as Roy spoke.  
Said liquid found itself on the table in front of me.

"W-what?" I sputtered as I grabbed a towel to clean up the mess.

"I can only do fire alchemy, and on days like today, I'm completely useless!" Roy continued as though he'd not heard me; ranting. "I can't perform even the most basic alchemy!" I stared into his darkening blue eyes disbelievingly. I had known he specialized in fire alchemy- it was rather obvious- he is the Flame Alchemist after all.

But I didn't have any idea about how distressed he was about it.

I stood from my seat and walked around the table and hugged him tightly from behind. He slumped into my hold as I moved my head to rest on his shoulder, my blond hair loose and brushing his bare shoulder.

"You're not useless, not to me," I kissed his cheek as I moved back to sit on his lap. I lifted his head with my cold, automail hand until his wary eyes met my own. "I'll teach you how to make things, alright?" His eyes brightened considerably. I quickly continued, "Don't set your hopes up too high; at first you won't be able to do much." Roy smiled a bit and chuckled, looking away from my gaze.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me." I shook my head and grabbed his hands, pulling him up with me.

"It's nothing. Besides, we have all day and maybe, if you're a good student, I'll give you a treat." A rather seductive smirk grew on his face and his arms wrapped lightly around my waist. His hands lightly brushed my hips, causing shivers to race up my spine. Then, his hands slowly moved to the waistband of my boxers. "R-Roy, you're being a bad student! The treat comes later!" I stuttered as I replayed the scene of the night before.  
Moments later, Roy was pulling me with him to the stairs and into the study. He took out a few of my basic alchemy books, pens and plenty of paper. He stood by the desk, eyes alight with excitement. I shook my head and sighed as I stood in the doorway

"Alright, first you need to…"

**And so I taught him the basics; equivalent exchange, what materials made what, and so on. Though Roy's outcomes with the simplest of alchemy were –well- rather horrible, the efforts that he put into it were wonderful. And due to his 'exemplary attitude', he got his reward…**

I woke up rather groggy from our little romp the night before. I felt unbelievably sore. I whimpered softly, expecting warm hands to gently message my throbbing lower back muscles. After getting no response, I cracked open one eye and frowned suspiciously at the wall.  
Roy was always awake before me. Always. And not once had he ever left me alone after sex, he'd always stay by me…So where was he?  
I rolled over reluctantly, wincing as my muscles pinched together painfully, my arm searching for Roy's warm body heat that had been trapped in the sheets.

Cold, no heat whatsoever.

Now I was concerned.

I hadn't heart the phone ring; I hadn't even heard him get up.

Ever so slowly, I got out of bed and threw on a pair of boxers I had found on the floor before stumbling out of the now-vacant bedroom and into the cold hallway. Looking towards the study, I saw the door was open just a bit. A flash of blue, alchemical light shone through the crack.  
What the hell? I thought as I trudged towards the door.

The door opened with a rather loud squeak, however it did not seem to affect or startle Roy. The alarm was now going off in our room.  
Still no reaction. I glanced around the room cautiously; Roy having his back to me, hadn't even noticed me. The room was full of little…Figures, I supposed you'd call them. There were many and all were disfigured.

"R-Roy?" I questioned warily as I inched toward him.

Another flash, similar to electricity, filled the room.

"I've done it!" Roy shouted as though he had just completed a miracle.

"Roy?" He spun around, holding a small object about a foot tall.

"Ed," he breathed, "I did it!" The object in his hands was a gnome: the very thing I had been trying to teach him to make. A sharp, red pointed hat adorned an oddly happy bearded face that stared back at me with squinty green eyes above a strangely large-shaped nose. Other than the hat, it also wore a blue work shirt, a pair of plain brown slacks and brown shoes to match. It looked nothing like its predecessors.  
Roy held the small gnome out for me to take. Carefully, I took it and examined it closely. Any anger I had felt toward him for leaving me alone after sex was completely gone. Now, I was proud and astonished at his hard work. I smiled softly and stared up into his eyes. Leaning up against him and standing on my toes, I brushed my lips against his.

"You are an exemplary student, Roy. You've done a good job." I pressed a kiss to his lips, carefully setting the gnome on the desk. Roy nuzzled my neck, arms enveloping me tightly.

"Do I get another treat?" I smirked, and just as I was going to answer, someone began knocking loudly on the door.

"Hey, Boss! Ya' ready yet? Your train's going to leave soon if you don't hurry!" Havoc's voice filtered up the stairs. Roy groaned a bit,

"Do you really have to go back to Risembool?"

Alphonse and Winry had been expecting me to visit them for awhile, and I had to get my automail checked. I'd be leaving Roy and Central for a week.

"Sorry," I kissed him lightly, "I have to go; the week will fly by for you." I ran back to the room and threw on my clothes.  
Roy met me downstairs with my suitcase.

"Do your work and take it easy with the alchemy, alright?" I reprimanded as I saw that Roy was still holding the gnome; as a child would a stuffed animal.

"Of course, Edward. What do you take me for, a child?" I bit back my comment and kissed him chastely before opening the door and rushing out.  
Turning back halfway down the yard, I saw Roy smiling at me, lounging in the doorframe, the rising sun making his chest glow. Blushing a bit as he slowly waved, I turned and, shoving the small wooden fence door open, marched to Havoc's awaiting car.

**That was the last I saw him until today.**

I stepped out of Havoc's car and thanked him again. Before he drove off, he gave me a worried look. I blinked and watched as Havoc sped out of sight, my hand on the door of the fence. I shook my head as I opened the door…Or at least I tried to. The door wouldn't budge, not even when I threw my entire bodyweight (plus luggage) at it.

Roy's going to kill me but, I thought frustratedly as I clapped my hands together, he'll get over it. I slammed my hand on its wooden frame that quickly turned into small planks of wood that collapsed onto the sidewalk at my feet. I looked up with a smirk, satisfied with my work and happy to finally be at my home sweet home. But the smirk was wiped from my face the moment I saw the yard just beyond the fence. The invasion took up the whole yard, including the walkway and the porch. Small, squinty eyes all stared up at me, all looking identical. They were all under a foot tall each and every single one had the same creepy smile and happy look on their faces. They were even complete with bright red pointy hats and long, bushy beards.

I. Was. Horrified.

I numbly clapped my hands and put them to the ground. The gnomes went flying off the walkway as alchemy rippled through it. I briskly walked to the front door, alchemizing the doorknob, not bothering with a key. Throwing the door open, I immediately noticed the loud crash that followed as the door hit the wall.

There was barely any room to walk. The shelves, tables, the coffee tables, the kitchen breakfast bar, and the dinning room table, they were all _covered_ with the little abominations. I couldn't even enter any of the rooms downstairs; I could see the disaster from where I stood, feet planted to the floor in the doorway. Jumping around the cloned horrors, I tripped face-first onto the stairs, nearly landing on another gnome.  
_What the hell has Roy been doing?_ I thought furiously as I clung to the railing, beginning the slow climb to the top. The creepy, skin-crawling feeling of thousands of eyes watching me had me turning back around every so often. _Never should have taught him basic alchemy, should have just told him to suck it up. _I continued to grumble to myself as I tripped over yet another gnome.

I had nearly twisted my ankle twice by the time I reached the top. I let out a sigh of relief before my shoulders slumped at the sight before me. And as I walked down the hallway and the mess continued on, I nearly screamed in frustration.  
They were a tad bit more organized; a small pathway that, only if you were to shuffle down the hall sideways, would you ever be able to get around.  
The end table's flowers were replaced by gnomes holding flowers; all looking exactly the same. All staring at me. I knew they were inanimate objects, but those black, beady squinting eyes…I swear they were watching, following every movement I made. I followed the pathway down the hall. All the doors were open except the bedroom. A thin sheen of sweat broke out on my forehead and my breathing came quicker as the eyes continued to stare. I paused outside the closed doorway, hands shaking as I reached for the doorknob in anticipation of what was beyond the door. Closing my eyes tightly, I winced in expectation, but the door was pushed open easily. I stayed frozen, my eyes still closed. The door was able to be pushed open easily.

There'd been no crash…

I cracked open one eye, then the other, before stepping cautiously into the room. The curtains were for the most part drawn, allowing a small sliver of late afternoon light into the dark room. The bed was surprisingly unmade. Roy may be a lazy slob at the office, but he always made sure the bed was perfectly made; not a crinkle or wrinkle or he'd flip out…And to see the bed so...Messy, was more than unnerving to me.  
Glancing around quickly, I saw no gnomes but plenty of dirty clothes that should not have been there. I left the room and continued shuffling down the hall to the wide-open study.

Books are, in a sense, sacred to me: they are to be respected. They have valuable information within their leather bindings. The unique aroma of old or new books were all different. Books should never touch the floor. The floor is dirty, dusty and…And…A book should never be on the floor. They should remain (When not being read) on a bookshelf; neat and in a certain order of organization. As such is the study in this very house that Roy and I shared. We came to terms that if I kept the bedroom tidy and didn't mess it up after he'd cleaned it, then, if he were to read any book in this house, he would treat it respectfully and return it to it's proper place when he was done.

The study was what nearly killed me.

Books, the very books that I had sought for, bought and loved dearly, were on the floor…The floor. Not a single book was on the shelves, all…All were on the floor. Gnomes, those goddamn gnomes replaced my books.

Roy's going to have hell to pay.

My eye was twitching, face frozen in a horrified, astonished look. I no longer cared about the gnomes that littered the floor all over my house. I saw one more flash of electrical light.

This is the final straw, dammit!

"ROY!" There was a crash and a loud groan, signaling to me where the bastard was.

"Damn, Ed." Roy was at the same desk he'd been at when he started learning. Even that was covered with gnomes. "You made me drop it." He turned around and the dark glare that was alight in my eyes darkened. Roy was wearing his uniform pants and what used to be a white button-up shirt, now covered in dirt, sweat, dust, and what appeared (and smelled) to be coffee. His face, obviously not having been shaved since I left, had the dark beginnings of a beard. Bags of a bluish-purple hue were under his eyes.

However, Roy ignored my glare and turned back to the desk, taking a book from the stack on the desk and setting it down in the middle of the array. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped in horror.

The bastard was using my books as materials for all of these gnomes!

"Roy…Roy, stop!" He wouldn't listen, so just as he was about to put his hands to the paper, I ran at him and dove in between him and the desk, smashing my lips painfully to his.

However he had little to no reaction to the kiss. Roy merely put his hands on my shoulders, and just as I thought he was going to pull me closer and continue to the bedroom….He pushed me away. He moved me so much that I was behind him and then he went back to work.

My mouth fell open and I felt tears pricking at my eyes.  
_He's ignoring me…He's fucking ignoring me for gnomes!_I ground my teeth as a few tears leaked out of my eyes. Then, I grabbed his shoulder and forcefully spun him around from the desk, punching him across the cheek with my automail hand.

Roy clutched his cheek as he fell back against the desk, his blue eyes bewildered as wide as he stared into my tear-filled eyes.

"What the hell! You fucking love those damn gnomes more than you love me!" I stormed out of the room.

Once in the hall, I continued 'til I got down to the front door. Resting my hand on the knob, I stared up the stairs and waited…And waited. However, there was no movement upstairs.

He wasn't coming after me.

_He…He's gone back to making gnomes…_ I threw open the door and slammed if shut, furious. I ran down the now-cleared path out of the yard and down the street.

I didn't stop running 'til I was stuck in the middle of the thick, after-work crowd. Shifting my way through it, I saw the flower stand where Roy and I had met up for our first date and every date thereafter. The lady at the stand looked up at me and waved and glancing behind me, looking for my ever-present boyfri-…Friend, if that now. Unable to look at her, a fresh wave of tears gathered in my eyes. I stared, instead, at the ground as I pushed past the stand. I lazily walked past Central Command's parade grounds, glancing up into the darkening sky.

"Dumb bastard," I muttered as I glanced at the building. I rubbed my eyes before continuing onward, though unsure of my destination.  
I found myself a bit later lying on my back on a park bench staring up into the night sky. Tears were coming and going as they pleased, leaving rivers and trails down my cheeks. My eyes were sore from the constant crying and my breath now came in small hiccups.  
Closing my eyes, I took deep, slow breaths. I felt my body relaxing and I drifted off; half asleep though I could still hear and feel my surroundings.  
This is why I tensed when I heard the slow footsteps approaching my bench. I kept my eyes closed and my breath even (no need letting the person know I knew he was there). The person, who I assumed to be a man, had ragged breathing, as though he'd been running only moments before. The man came to a stop at my head.

"It's not safe for kids to be out at night, you know." A familiar deep voice echoed through the night.

My eyebrow twitched, "Why the hell do you care, Bastard? Why aren't you back home making more gnomes?" Cracking open one eye, I saw that Roy was now in much better shape than before: he had shaved, showered, and changed his clothes.

"Ed, I-" he stopped short, offering me a hand to help me sit up. I took it a bit reluctantly, sitting up and scooting over so he could have a seat as well. I was unable to look him in the eye. When he sat down, he took something out of his inner coat pocket and held it out toward me. Lowering my eyes to the object, I saw the last book that had been previously gnome-ified and a single dark yellow, nearly gold, rose placed delicately on top. "I'm sorry, Ed. It wasn't right for me to do that. I've been so obsessed with them; I finally am able to make things, Ed! And I just got too carried away…" Roy continued to ramble as I took the book and rose from his hands. As I brushed my hand over the cover, I picked up the rose in my left hand and turned it over, feeling my eyes softening.

Roy was still going on as I raised my automail to his slightly swollen cheek that I'd hit earlier. He winced at the sudden cold and from the soreness at the touch. But he soon relaxed into the touch and leaned into my hand, closing his eyes peacefully. His rambling gradually came to a stop with a final soft, "I'm sorry."

I carefully pulled his face lower, down to me, lips brushing against his as I whispered back,  
"I love you."

In the following three days, I'd cut Roy off until all the gnomes he'd made were either returned to their original book forms or burned. This was the fate for many of the gnomes in the house. It only really took a day for Roy to fix that up.  
The two added days, however, were due to a call from Riza…

Roy had gone to work, but he had made everything in his office into gnomes…Including his paperwork. So I cut him off until he fixed his office and completed all his paperwork.

So due to Roy staying late and pulling all-nighters to get through all that paperwork, I had been completely alone in the house today. I was only wearing sweatpants and my hair was pulled back neatly into a ponytail while I washed the dishes from my dinner.

Humming a little tune that was playing on the radio, I swayed back and forth as I washed the dishes. Suddenly, I felt arms circle my waist, holding me close. A mouth latched onto my ear, tongue swirling around it, making my knees buckle unintentionally.

"R-Roy, what a-are you doing?" He chuckled and let go of my ear as one arm reached up to take out my hair band, causing my hair to fall around my shoulders. Roy then buried his nose into my hair. The same arm wrapped itself around my harms and chest, pinning my arms to my sides while the other hand rubbed my hip with care.

"What do you think I'm doing?" His tongue trailed down my jaw from my ear to my chin. "I've finished all my paperwork and I've fixed everything; I think it's time we make up."

And who was I to refuse?

Roy layed himself over top of me, grinding our still-clothed members together and pushing my hips down into the soft bedding. I mewled as I pulled desperately at his clothes. Finally, I succeeded in pulling his unbuttoned shirt and undershirt off of him. Roy chuckled as he continued to kiss down my chest. He teased my nipples, sucking, licking and biting them both 'til they were hard and erect; much like my own member which was being ground against my body.

"Aagh! R-Roy!" My head flew back and my eyes closed as his hands brushed below the waistline of my pants.

"No underwear, Edward? You naughty boy." He tutted, smirking as he slowly started stroking me.

"Sh-shut u-" I stuttered and was cut off as he tightened his hand around me. I broke off into a whimper. Shaking his head at me, recaptured my lips and slid my pants off, throwing them onto the floor.

He was panting when we broke apart, a mischievous glint in his deep blue eyes as he traveled to the southern region of my body. I was unable to tear my eyes from him even though I had this prickling sensation that someone or something was different and did not belong. He engulfed me whole into his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around me. I stared, dazed, as Roy bobbed his head up down my length hungrily; the light from the moon making his skin glow. Heat quickly pooled in my lower stomach as his teeth slid against my sensitive skin.

"Haaah!" I moaned, closing my eyes and turning my head to the side. My fists clenched the sheets tightly at the combined effort of Roy's tongue, teeth, and now hand that played with my balls; cupping and squeezing them. "R-Roy! I-" I was incoherent now; unable to think clearly through the pleasure that was coursing through my veins. Waves of burning, pleasurable heat were warring in my lower region- begging for release. "Ah-ah, Roy!"

My body spasmed as I came hard into Roy's mouth. I closed my eyes in ecstasy with my head thrown back on the pillows. Over a week of no sex, blowjobs, or hand jobs had done its toll on me and Roy just lapped it all up, milking me dry.

The only sound in the room was our heavy panting and the sound of Roy's fly coming undone before his pants joined mine on the floor. I could feel him moving; he picked up my legs and propped them on his shoulders. I felt him positioning himself at my entrance. He leaned over me and kissed me slowly; our lips moving together in a lazy, loving kiss before breaking apart with a soft 'smak'. Opening my eyes for the first time, I stared deep into his eyes.

"I love you, Edward." His eyes were abnormally soft and shining with love. I felt my heart soar.

"I love you too, R-" I stopped as my eyes caught sight of something red, green, white, and brown above Roy's head that should not have been there.

"Ed? What's wron-?"

"WHY THE HELL IS THERE A GNOME IN HERE!" Roy froze, and then his face turned sheepish. He quickly tried to distract me; his hand going down to my now limp member.

"Don't you dare touch me!" I growled as I slapped his hand away, no longer in the mood.

"Ed, wait!" He tried to grab onto my legs to stop me from getting up, but I was too quick for him and had somersaulted off the bed fore he could touch me. I quickly pulled my pants on.

"What? Why should I?"

"Listen, Ed! You don't understand! That's important to me-"

"Oh so important, huh? I said every gnome!"

"But Ed! This is the first successful gnome I ever made! …I made it with you…" Roy looked down sadly at the sheets. I bit my lip as I stared, now feeling sorry for freaking out on him again. I stood and walked back over to him and hugged him close, glaring at the damn gnome over his shoulder. It just sat there staring and having that stupid smile on its face. This was the thing I had sense while Roy was 'playing' with me…

"Sorry," I muttered lowly in his ear as I snuggled into his neck. "You can keep it. But I can't continue in here; that damn thing is creeping me out." I stood as walked toward the door, glancing back to see Roy's slack-jaw expression. Chuckling, I continued, "I'll be _lounging_ on the couch if you need me," I hinted before leaving the room and going downstairs to lie on the couch.

Roy came running moments later.

And that is the end to the gnome madness… Now, Al and his robot obsession…Well, that's another story.

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**Just for the record there won't be one about Al... ^^**


End file.
